Tuesday, December 9, 2008
Chapter 9
This chapter really opened my eyes to some of the worldly methods I had been using unknowingly. When using some of these wordly methods I have even thought of myself as being patient with Jackson, but I was actually robbing him of the discipline he so despirately longs for. I think I'm getting the hang of probing the heart and being pretty consistant in discipline. The author discussed expecting obedience immediately every single time the parent speaks and if there is delay in obedience the rod should be administered every time. I'm wondering if anyone finds this just a little bit extreme? And where should that consistant line be? I don't think I should have to repeat myself, but should a spanking be in order anytime I do have to repeat myself or just reminders to be obedient. And how many reminders do you give before you do use the rod? Just a few things I'm trying to sort out for myself...any thoughts?
Friday, December 5, 2008
I will get back to postings!
I will get back to doing postings next week and finish out the book before Christmas hopefully. We have had a crazy couple of weeks, but I am hoping it will settle down next week.
Laura
Laura
Sunday, November 23, 2008
chapter 8
This chapter seems to be guidelines for self-control on the part of the parents. Sometimes this is sooooo hard! It is so difficult to use a quiet, gentle voice when Jackson has deliberately disobeyed for the third time in a row! I often find myself scolding him rather than gently correcting him in love. This is something I struggle with on a daily basis reminding myself that "A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger" (prov. 15:1)
I believe that Jackson somehow knows that I am reading this book and is testing us! The past week has been 'trying' at best. We have had moments of sheer delight, but overall it has been emotionally exhausting! He has been downright defiant, disrespectful and disobedient. It seems like every day is a struggle and I find myself wondering where my sweet, compliant little boy has gone. A couple of nights ago Adam was out at a work thing and I was getting the boys ready for bed. It was time to get in the bath and Jackson was being extremely difficult and disobedient. I explained to him how he was acting, why it was wrong, and how he should have responded when mama said to get into the bath. He received his spanking hugged me and when I said to go get in the bath again he immediately through himself on the floor and repeated the fit that we had just corrected. We went through the whole correction bit yet again and then I just broke down. I sat there holding him just sobbing saying, "I just want you to obey because it is what God wants you to do." (I was in a full out ugly cry!) He looked up at me with his sweet little face with tears in those beautiful blue eyes and his little lip poked out and said, "Don't cry Mommy." He truly felt sad that I was upset. He then became my sweet boy for the rest of the night!
I just want to raise these children that God has entrusted to me the way He intended me to raise them...What a Job!
OK I bought the Wise Words for Moms chart/book that she wrote and it is AWESOME!!! It is a must have and it is only $4!!!! It is hanging on my refrigerator!
Hope you all have a really Happy Thanksgiving!!!
I believe that Jackson somehow knows that I am reading this book and is testing us! The past week has been 'trying' at best. We have had moments of sheer delight, but overall it has been emotionally exhausting! He has been downright defiant, disrespectful and disobedient. It seems like every day is a struggle and I find myself wondering where my sweet, compliant little boy has gone. A couple of nights ago Adam was out at a work thing and I was getting the boys ready for bed. It was time to get in the bath and Jackson was being extremely difficult and disobedient. I explained to him how he was acting, why it was wrong, and how he should have responded when mama said to get into the bath. He received his spanking hugged me and when I said to go get in the bath again he immediately through himself on the floor and repeated the fit that we had just corrected. We went through the whole correction bit yet again and then I just broke down. I sat there holding him just sobbing saying, "I just want you to obey because it is what God wants you to do." (I was in a full out ugly cry!) He looked up at me with his sweet little face with tears in those beautiful blue eyes and his little lip poked out and said, "Don't cry Mommy." He truly felt sad that I was upset. He then became my sweet boy for the rest of the night!
I just want to raise these children that God has entrusted to me the way He intended me to raise them...What a Job!
OK I bought the Wise Words for Moms chart/book that she wrote and it is AWESOME!!! It is a must have and it is only $4!!!! It is hanging on my refrigerator!
Hope you all have a really Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Thursday, November 13, 2008
chapter 6
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 has been showing up over and over for me the past week or so. Pastor Jim preached on making lasting impressions last weekend and then that night I came home and read ch. 6 in the book and there it was again. "These words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." I like that she brings up that this should be done in a comfortable and conversational manner not formally, strictly, or legalistically.
I think she made an interesting point about whining. It is an issue of self control. We do not put up with whining in our house! Occasionally though I feel like all I do all day is correct the whining. I like her suggestion on pg. 69 ...the example of what she did with her daughter when she was whining. Lately Jackson has been making a conscious effort to ask almost everything in a polite big boy voice. He has learned that whining gets him nothing (except for in trouble) and asking nicely is his best bet.
Since reading this chapter a week or so ago I've really been trying to watch my attitude even when I have just had enough. I am trying diligently to 'count it all joy' when I have the opportunity to point Jackson toward Christ. (I just had the opportunity in the middle of writing this post.) I am trying to be careful that Jackson's sinful behavior does not cause me to have a sinful attitude.
Her list of responsibilities for parents is great. What loved the most was her parrell between John the Baptist and our number one role as parents. We are to prepare the way for Jesus to come into the hearts of our children. If their hearts are filled with God's Word the way will be prepared for the day when they make him their Savior.
I found this chapter to be very encouraging and uplifting. It really helped me shift my focus off of the everyday discipline and put my focus on the ultimate reason we are doing the discipline.
What were your thoughts?
I think she made an interesting point about whining. It is an issue of self control. We do not put up with whining in our house! Occasionally though I feel like all I do all day is correct the whining. I like her suggestion on pg. 69 ...the example of what she did with her daughter when she was whining. Lately Jackson has been making a conscious effort to ask almost everything in a polite big boy voice. He has learned that whining gets him nothing (except for in trouble) and asking nicely is his best bet.
Since reading this chapter a week or so ago I've really been trying to watch my attitude even when I have just had enough. I am trying diligently to 'count it all joy' when I have the opportunity to point Jackson toward Christ. (I just had the opportunity in the middle of writing this post.) I am trying to be careful that Jackson's sinful behavior does not cause me to have a sinful attitude.
Her list of responsibilities for parents is great. What loved the most was her parrell between John the Baptist and our number one role as parents. We are to prepare the way for Jesus to come into the hearts of our children. If their hearts are filled with God's Word the way will be prepared for the day when they make him their Savior.
I found this chapter to be very encouraging and uplifting. It really helped me shift my focus off of the everyday discipline and put my focus on the ultimate reason we are doing the discipline.
What were your thoughts?
Monday, November 10, 2008
chapter 5
I think the Gumnazo Principle that she brings up in this chapter is wonderful. We must work hand in hand with our children lovingly correcting every mistake until it becomes second nature for them. This is definitely time consuming and exhausting! It takes discipline and commitment on the part of the parents. We must love our children enough to train them in righteousness. Ignoring ungodly behavior and allowing them to continue to display their sinful nature is the easy way out. This parenting stuff is hard work...at least it should be hard work.
I have a story from this past weekend where Adam and I were faced with the decision to stick to our guns or give in to keep the peace. We chose to take the road less travelled and remain consistent in a slightly awkward situation. Last Friday evening we had dinner with Mandi and Howie Moseley (Mandi is part of this book club..hi Madi). We had been trying to get together for months and we finally made it out to their beautiful home in High Springs. Mandi made a delicious Mexican casserole for dinner. That day Jackson had been an extreme picky eater and had refused to eat even the things he loves (chicken strips, watermelon, cheese) saying, "This stuff is yucky!" So at lunch on Friday I knew I could be in for a difficult experience that night at the Moseley's. We arrived to the Moseley's house and Jackson helped Mandi and I finish up a few last things in the kitchen before we ate dinner. We all sat down at the table and just as I had imagined my typically polite, congenial little boy looked at his plate and before he even took one bite he said, " Me not like that stuff." Of course this is what every mother just loves for her child to say at the home of friends she is trying to get to know better. So, Adam and I had to make the decision...do we ignore this rude behavior and give into our 3 year olds demands or do we remain consistent to the rules we have established and train him in righteousness. After a few minutes of explaining to him what the dish was made of and how he really does like the casserole and fruit on his plate I finally excused us from the table and headed to the bathroom for a little chat…game on! We discussed that his actions were rude, how it could make Mrs. Mandi and Mr. Howie feel sad, and that we do not behave that way especially at someone else's house. I explained to him that if he didn't eat some of the food on his plate (not all the food just a good solid effort) that he would not get the brownies and ice cream he knew mama brought for dessert. He decided that he would do try to eat some dinner and that he would apologize for behaving rudely. He walked to the table, apologized and sat in his chair. He still did not want to eat what he was served so I told him he could go play, but I reminded him that he would not get dessert. Adam seemed to think that he really didn’t fully understand that he would not get dessert so he took him back to the bathroom for another chat. This chat resulted in blood curdling screams coming from the bathroom (he didn’t receive a spanking he just realized that he really wasn’t getting dessert). As I sat in total embarrassment at the table with our friends I was reminded that this parenting stuff isn’t easy! Thankfully Mandi and Howie were gracious and we felt totally comfortable disciplining our child in their home. We saved his dinner in case he chose to eat some so he could have dessert. However he did not make that choice and he missed out on yummy brownie and ice cream.
My point to this long story is parenting should not be an easy task, but it is the most rewarding task that we will ever be faced with.
I have a story from this past weekend where Adam and I were faced with the decision to stick to our guns or give in to keep the peace. We chose to take the road less travelled and remain consistent in a slightly awkward situation. Last Friday evening we had dinner with Mandi and Howie Moseley (Mandi is part of this book club..hi Madi). We had been trying to get together for months and we finally made it out to their beautiful home in High Springs. Mandi made a delicious Mexican casserole for dinner. That day Jackson had been an extreme picky eater and had refused to eat even the things he loves (chicken strips, watermelon, cheese) saying, "This stuff is yucky!" So at lunch on Friday I knew I could be in for a difficult experience that night at the Moseley's. We arrived to the Moseley's house and Jackson helped Mandi and I finish up a few last things in the kitchen before we ate dinner. We all sat down at the table and just as I had imagined my typically polite, congenial little boy looked at his plate and before he even took one bite he said, " Me not like that stuff." Of course this is what every mother just loves for her child to say at the home of friends she is trying to get to know better. So, Adam and I had to make the decision...do we ignore this rude behavior and give into our 3 year olds demands or do we remain consistent to the rules we have established and train him in righteousness. After a few minutes of explaining to him what the dish was made of and how he really does like the casserole and fruit on his plate I finally excused us from the table and headed to the bathroom for a little chat…game on! We discussed that his actions were rude, how it could make Mrs. Mandi and Mr. Howie feel sad, and that we do not behave that way especially at someone else's house. I explained to him that if he didn't eat some of the food on his plate (not all the food just a good solid effort) that he would not get the brownies and ice cream he knew mama brought for dessert. He decided that he would do try to eat some dinner and that he would apologize for behaving rudely. He walked to the table, apologized and sat in his chair. He still did not want to eat what he was served so I told him he could go play, but I reminded him that he would not get dessert. Adam seemed to think that he really didn’t fully understand that he would not get dessert so he took him back to the bathroom for another chat. This chat resulted in blood curdling screams coming from the bathroom (he didn’t receive a spanking he just realized that he really wasn’t getting dessert). As I sat in total embarrassment at the table with our friends I was reminded that this parenting stuff isn’t easy! Thankfully Mandi and Howie were gracious and we felt totally comfortable disciplining our child in their home. We saved his dinner in case he chose to eat some so he could have dessert. However he did not make that choice and he missed out on yummy brownie and ice cream.
My point to this long story is parenting should not be an easy task, but it is the most rewarding task that we will ever be faced with.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
chapter 4
Taking off the sinful nature and putting on righteousness! I love this chapter! She definitely says it best, "When we correct our children for wrong behavior but fail to train them in righteous behaviour, we will exasperate them because we are not providing them with a way of escape." We have been using this role playing with Jackson after explaining to him why his behavior was not acceptable. He almost always responds properly after we rehearse the situation. It's like he is enlightened with with the response he wants to give in his heart...he just has to fight back that sinful nature and put on righteousness. How awesome to give a three year old the tools he will need to make proper choices throughout his life.
Monday, October 27, 2008
chapter 3
I love that her goal is to use Scripture to teach, rebuke, correct, and train in righteousness (pg 37). On that note...she has another little book that is like an outline with specific verses that correlate with specific sins. This is to be a little pocket guide to point out to your child what the Bible says about various sins they may commit. It is called Wise words for moms. I'm going to order this asap.
How fabulous is the step by step examples on how to use this type of correction!?
Jackson has just recently started verbalizing his emotions. If I tell him to do something he doesn't like or get onto him for something he will tell me that that made him mad or angry. At first this really annoyed me, but now I realize that this is a positive thing. He is able to express to me how he feels and I can help him work through "why" he feels that way and how he should respond to that emotion. I'm trying to remember that it isn't a sin for him to feel angry...the way he responds to that anger will determine whether or not he is sinning and needs correction.
He has also started telling me when he feels sad. Sometimes this drives me absolutely crazy! For a couple of weeks there he was saying, "Me so sad", about EVERYTHING that wasn't just right. I heard that phrase countless times in a day. I have just realized in the past week that I need to tell him that it is OK to feel sad sometimes, but he needs to think about everything he has to be thankful for. Today I listed many ways in which he is blessed (a mommy, daddy, and brother that love him so much, a house to keep him warm, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, toys to play with....and on and on). I explained that not all children in the world have all of these things and when he feels sad he needs to think about all of the reasons he has to be happy. After my explanation he just sat there for a second and then looked at me with a big smile and said, "Me so proud." I think I'm going to introduce the rejoice in the Lord always Scripture this week.
Page 45 is great too...training them to think like Christians.
anyone have any insight?
How fabulous is the step by step examples on how to use this type of correction!?
Jackson has just recently started verbalizing his emotions. If I tell him to do something he doesn't like or get onto him for something he will tell me that that made him mad or angry. At first this really annoyed me, but now I realize that this is a positive thing. He is able to express to me how he feels and I can help him work through "why" he feels that way and how he should respond to that emotion. I'm trying to remember that it isn't a sin for him to feel angry...the way he responds to that anger will determine whether or not he is sinning and needs correction.
He has also started telling me when he feels sad. Sometimes this drives me absolutely crazy! For a couple of weeks there he was saying, "Me so sad", about EVERYTHING that wasn't just right. I heard that phrase countless times in a day. I have just realized in the past week that I need to tell him that it is OK to feel sad sometimes, but he needs to think about everything he has to be thankful for. Today I listed many ways in which he is blessed (a mommy, daddy, and brother that love him so much, a house to keep him warm, a bed to sleep in, food to eat, toys to play with....and on and on). I explained that not all children in the world have all of these things and when he feels sad he needs to think about all of the reasons he has to be happy. After my explanation he just sat there for a second and then looked at me with a big smile and said, "Me so proud." I think I'm going to introduce the rejoice in the Lord always Scripture this week.
Page 45 is great too...training them to think like Christians.
anyone have any insight?
Monday, October 20, 2008
Chapter 2
Today has been one of those days!!! I seemed to drop everything, naps were not successful, and Jackson's playdate with his best bud did not go well at all!!! It was probably around the 3rd or 4th fight over a toy that I felt my blood starting to boil and by 1:00 my brain was total mush! On days like today it is sooo hard to think through the heart of the issue and have a successful, character building talk with a three year old.
I have really been trying to stay completely calm and talk through the issue and get to the heart of everything, but sometimes it is hard to know exactly what to say to make him understand. I have been trying explain why the action was wrong, how it made the other person feel and then follow through and go back to the scene of the crime and give him word for word the proper way to handle the situation giving him the tools to be successful next time.
"The heart determines the behavior." These outbursts of will are just a symptom of a heart issue. It is good for me to remember that every fit or act of disobedience is just a red flag signaling something that needs work and instruction. Following through every single time is going to result in a teenager/adult that has a heart for righteousness and can govern his own actions based on God's Word.
What thoughts did you have on the chapter?
Do you have any tricks on how to get straight to the heart issue in the heat of the moment?
I have really been trying to stay completely calm and talk through the issue and get to the heart of everything, but sometimes it is hard to know exactly what to say to make him understand. I have been trying explain why the action was wrong, how it made the other person feel and then follow through and go back to the scene of the crime and give him word for word the proper way to handle the situation giving him the tools to be successful next time.
"The heart determines the behavior." These outbursts of will are just a symptom of a heart issue. It is good for me to remember that every fit or act of disobedience is just a red flag signaling something that needs work and instruction. Following through every single time is going to result in a teenager/adult that has a heart for righteousness and can govern his own actions based on God's Word.
What thoughts did you have on the chapter?
Do you have any tricks on how to get straight to the heart issue in the heat of the moment?
Monday, October 13, 2008
chapter 1
I know we can all relate to those moments when we want to pull out our hair!! I think what gets me the most is the monotony of it all. Some days I feel like all I have done that day is feed someone, clean up after them, put someone down for a nap, feed someone again and clean up again. It can feel like mindless, routine without a purpose. But then there is that teachable moment, that I love you mommy, that cackle and it is all back into perspective. I truely believe that raising children with Godly character is the most important thing I will ever do. And I only have one shot to get it right.
I love this on page 21 "God does have an important job for me, and it does require much skill. It is my calling, my priority, my struggle, and my goal. I will rise to the occasion and accept the task at hand. I will love, nurture, and train my children in the way that God has called me to do." (I think I'll make this my personal mission statement.)
The grocery store story is hillarious!!! I too have moments where I find pride creeping in...I just pray that I can keep that in check before God sees fit to humble me in the grocery store:)
Possible discussion topics:
What stuck out to you in chapter 1?
Is it scary that we only have one chance to get this right?
Do you have a funny, humbling story?
I love this on page 21 "God does have an important job for me, and it does require much skill. It is my calling, my priority, my struggle, and my goal. I will rise to the occasion and accept the task at hand. I will love, nurture, and train my children in the way that God has called me to do." (I think I'll make this my personal mission statement.)
The grocery store story is hillarious!!! I too have moments where I find pride creeping in...I just pray that I can keep that in check before God sees fit to humble me in the grocery store:)
Possible discussion topics:
What stuck out to you in chapter 1?
Is it scary that we only have one chance to get this right?
Do you have a funny, humbling story?
Number of Chapters per week
Hello Ladies. I was thinking about the number of chapters we should try to do a week. I'm thinking we should read and discuss two chapters per week. That way it will only take us 6 weeks rather than 12. The chapters are really short and easy to read so it shouldn't be a problem. I'll try to post on Mondays and Wednesdays to get the chapters going for the week then everyone can post about those two chapters anytime throughout the week. The beauty of the blog is that if you aren't right on schedule for the chapters that week you can always post at anytime regarding any chapter that has been covered. I really hope that we can all get into this and really share what God puts on our hearts while reading this book.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Getting the book
Ok. It looks like everyone will have to order the book off of Amazon. I called around and got the last copy from Barnes & Noble on Archer. Barnes & Noble and all the other chain bookstores in Gainesville said they can order it and it would be $12 or $13. So you can go about it how ever you would like order it off Amazon (I looked and it is $11 but then you have to pay shipping too) or you can call one of the bookstores in town and have them order it and then go pick it up. It may sound like a bit of trouble but I promise this book will be worth it! Hope you can all get it soon...if we need to start the middle of next week rather than Monday so everyone can get the book we can do that.
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Here is the blog spot.
Hello Ladies,
I just thought I'd send you the url to our book club blog spot. I was thinking that we could start our discussion of the book one week from tomorrow, Monday, Oct. 13th. That way we have one week to purchase the book. I'm going to call the Christian bookstores in Gainesville tomorrow to see who carries it or if it will need to be ordered online. I'll post as soon as I know so you will know where to find the book.
I want this to be a very informal book club. We can post anytime about any chapter. Talk about things in the book that stick out to you and ideas you have about applying certain concepts. Share your funny stories, your successful stories, frustrations...Anything!
We will try to shoot for talking about one chapter per week if you fall behind or get ahead it's fine just talk about the chapter you are on at the time. If you talk about something specifically from a different chapter it might be good to just reference the chapter you are talking about so everyone can be to the same page (so to speak:)
Let me know if you have any ideas for this blog...I hope we have a great time while sharing and learning alot.
Please forgive the bare bones that is my blog site...I'm just learning about all this blogging stuff. Hopefully I can add more to the page as I figure it all out.
Laura~
I just thought I'd send you the url to our book club blog spot. I was thinking that we could start our discussion of the book one week from tomorrow, Monday, Oct. 13th. That way we have one week to purchase the book. I'm going to call the Christian bookstores in Gainesville tomorrow to see who carries it or if it will need to be ordered online. I'll post as soon as I know so you will know where to find the book.
I want this to be a very informal book club. We can post anytime about any chapter. Talk about things in the book that stick out to you and ideas you have about applying certain concepts. Share your funny stories, your successful stories, frustrations...Anything!
We will try to shoot for talking about one chapter per week if you fall behind or get ahead it's fine just talk about the chapter you are on at the time. If you talk about something specifically from a different chapter it might be good to just reference the chapter you are talking about so everyone can be to the same page (so to speak:)
Let me know if you have any ideas for this blog...I hope we have a great time while sharing and learning alot.
Please forgive the bare bones that is my blog site...I'm just learning about all this blogging stuff. Hopefully I can add more to the page as I figure it all out.
Laura~
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