This chapter seems to be guidelines for self-control on the part of the parents. Sometimes this is sooooo hard! It is so difficult to use a quiet, gentle voice when Jackson has deliberately disobeyed for the third time in a row! I often find myself scolding him rather than gently correcting him in love. This is something I struggle with on a daily basis reminding myself that "A gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger" (prov. 15:1)
I believe that Jackson somehow knows that I am reading this book and is testing us! The past week has been 'trying' at best. We have had moments of sheer delight, but overall it has been emotionally exhausting! He has been downright defiant, disrespectful and disobedient. It seems like every day is a struggle and I find myself wondering where my sweet, compliant little boy has gone. A couple of nights ago Adam was out at a work thing and I was getting the boys ready for bed. It was time to get in the bath and Jackson was being extremely difficult and disobedient. I explained to him how he was acting, why it was wrong, and how he should have responded when mama said to get into the bath. He received his spanking hugged me and when I said to go get in the bath again he immediately through himself on the floor and repeated the fit that we had just corrected. We went through the whole correction bit yet again and then I just broke down. I sat there holding him just sobbing saying, "I just want you to obey because it is what God wants you to do." (I was in a full out ugly cry!) He looked up at me with his sweet little face with tears in those beautiful blue eyes and his little lip poked out and said, "Don't cry Mommy." He truly felt sad that I was upset. He then became my sweet boy for the rest of the night!
I just want to raise these children that God has entrusted to me the way He intended me to raise them...What a Job!
OK I bought the Wise Words for Moms chart/book that she wrote and it is AWESOME!!! It is a must have and it is only $4!!!! It is hanging on my refrigerator!
Hope you all have a really Happy Thanksgiving!!!
Sunday, November 23, 2008
Thursday, November 13, 2008
chapter 6
Deuteronomy 6:6-7 has been showing up over and over for me the past week or so. Pastor Jim preached on making lasting impressions last weekend and then that night I came home and read ch. 6 in the book and there it was again. "These words which I command you today shall be in your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and when you rise up." I like that she brings up that this should be done in a comfortable and conversational manner not formally, strictly, or legalistically.
I think she made an interesting point about whining. It is an issue of self control. We do not put up with whining in our house! Occasionally though I feel like all I do all day is correct the whining. I like her suggestion on pg. 69 ...the example of what she did with her daughter when she was whining. Lately Jackson has been making a conscious effort to ask almost everything in a polite big boy voice. He has learned that whining gets him nothing (except for in trouble) and asking nicely is his best bet.
Since reading this chapter a week or so ago I've really been trying to watch my attitude even when I have just had enough. I am trying diligently to 'count it all joy' when I have the opportunity to point Jackson toward Christ. (I just had the opportunity in the middle of writing this post.) I am trying to be careful that Jackson's sinful behavior does not cause me to have a sinful attitude.
Her list of responsibilities for parents is great. What loved the most was her parrell between John the Baptist and our number one role as parents. We are to prepare the way for Jesus to come into the hearts of our children. If their hearts are filled with God's Word the way will be prepared for the day when they make him their Savior.
I found this chapter to be very encouraging and uplifting. It really helped me shift my focus off of the everyday discipline and put my focus on the ultimate reason we are doing the discipline.
What were your thoughts?
I think she made an interesting point about whining. It is an issue of self control. We do not put up with whining in our house! Occasionally though I feel like all I do all day is correct the whining. I like her suggestion on pg. 69 ...the example of what she did with her daughter when she was whining. Lately Jackson has been making a conscious effort to ask almost everything in a polite big boy voice. He has learned that whining gets him nothing (except for in trouble) and asking nicely is his best bet.
Since reading this chapter a week or so ago I've really been trying to watch my attitude even when I have just had enough. I am trying diligently to 'count it all joy' when I have the opportunity to point Jackson toward Christ. (I just had the opportunity in the middle of writing this post.) I am trying to be careful that Jackson's sinful behavior does not cause me to have a sinful attitude.
Her list of responsibilities for parents is great. What loved the most was her parrell between John the Baptist and our number one role as parents. We are to prepare the way for Jesus to come into the hearts of our children. If their hearts are filled with God's Word the way will be prepared for the day when they make him their Savior.
I found this chapter to be very encouraging and uplifting. It really helped me shift my focus off of the everyday discipline and put my focus on the ultimate reason we are doing the discipline.
What were your thoughts?
Monday, November 10, 2008
chapter 5
I think the Gumnazo Principle that she brings up in this chapter is wonderful. We must work hand in hand with our children lovingly correcting every mistake until it becomes second nature for them. This is definitely time consuming and exhausting! It takes discipline and commitment on the part of the parents. We must love our children enough to train them in righteousness. Ignoring ungodly behavior and allowing them to continue to display their sinful nature is the easy way out. This parenting stuff is hard work...at least it should be hard work.
I have a story from this past weekend where Adam and I were faced with the decision to stick to our guns or give in to keep the peace. We chose to take the road less travelled and remain consistent in a slightly awkward situation. Last Friday evening we had dinner with Mandi and Howie Moseley (Mandi is part of this book club..hi Madi). We had been trying to get together for months and we finally made it out to their beautiful home in High Springs. Mandi made a delicious Mexican casserole for dinner. That day Jackson had been an extreme picky eater and had refused to eat even the things he loves (chicken strips, watermelon, cheese) saying, "This stuff is yucky!" So at lunch on Friday I knew I could be in for a difficult experience that night at the Moseley's. We arrived to the Moseley's house and Jackson helped Mandi and I finish up a few last things in the kitchen before we ate dinner. We all sat down at the table and just as I had imagined my typically polite, congenial little boy looked at his plate and before he even took one bite he said, " Me not like that stuff." Of course this is what every mother just loves for her child to say at the home of friends she is trying to get to know better. So, Adam and I had to make the decision...do we ignore this rude behavior and give into our 3 year olds demands or do we remain consistent to the rules we have established and train him in righteousness. After a few minutes of explaining to him what the dish was made of and how he really does like the casserole and fruit on his plate I finally excused us from the table and headed to the bathroom for a little chat…game on! We discussed that his actions were rude, how it could make Mrs. Mandi and Mr. Howie feel sad, and that we do not behave that way especially at someone else's house. I explained to him that if he didn't eat some of the food on his plate (not all the food just a good solid effort) that he would not get the brownies and ice cream he knew mama brought for dessert. He decided that he would do try to eat some dinner and that he would apologize for behaving rudely. He walked to the table, apologized and sat in his chair. He still did not want to eat what he was served so I told him he could go play, but I reminded him that he would not get dessert. Adam seemed to think that he really didn’t fully understand that he would not get dessert so he took him back to the bathroom for another chat. This chat resulted in blood curdling screams coming from the bathroom (he didn’t receive a spanking he just realized that he really wasn’t getting dessert). As I sat in total embarrassment at the table with our friends I was reminded that this parenting stuff isn’t easy! Thankfully Mandi and Howie were gracious and we felt totally comfortable disciplining our child in their home. We saved his dinner in case he chose to eat some so he could have dessert. However he did not make that choice and he missed out on yummy brownie and ice cream.
My point to this long story is parenting should not be an easy task, but it is the most rewarding task that we will ever be faced with.
I have a story from this past weekend where Adam and I were faced with the decision to stick to our guns or give in to keep the peace. We chose to take the road less travelled and remain consistent in a slightly awkward situation. Last Friday evening we had dinner with Mandi and Howie Moseley (Mandi is part of this book club..hi Madi). We had been trying to get together for months and we finally made it out to their beautiful home in High Springs. Mandi made a delicious Mexican casserole for dinner. That day Jackson had been an extreme picky eater and had refused to eat even the things he loves (chicken strips, watermelon, cheese) saying, "This stuff is yucky!" So at lunch on Friday I knew I could be in for a difficult experience that night at the Moseley's. We arrived to the Moseley's house and Jackson helped Mandi and I finish up a few last things in the kitchen before we ate dinner. We all sat down at the table and just as I had imagined my typically polite, congenial little boy looked at his plate and before he even took one bite he said, " Me not like that stuff." Of course this is what every mother just loves for her child to say at the home of friends she is trying to get to know better. So, Adam and I had to make the decision...do we ignore this rude behavior and give into our 3 year olds demands or do we remain consistent to the rules we have established and train him in righteousness. After a few minutes of explaining to him what the dish was made of and how he really does like the casserole and fruit on his plate I finally excused us from the table and headed to the bathroom for a little chat…game on! We discussed that his actions were rude, how it could make Mrs. Mandi and Mr. Howie feel sad, and that we do not behave that way especially at someone else's house. I explained to him that if he didn't eat some of the food on his plate (not all the food just a good solid effort) that he would not get the brownies and ice cream he knew mama brought for dessert. He decided that he would do try to eat some dinner and that he would apologize for behaving rudely. He walked to the table, apologized and sat in his chair. He still did not want to eat what he was served so I told him he could go play, but I reminded him that he would not get dessert. Adam seemed to think that he really didn’t fully understand that he would not get dessert so he took him back to the bathroom for another chat. This chat resulted in blood curdling screams coming from the bathroom (he didn’t receive a spanking he just realized that he really wasn’t getting dessert). As I sat in total embarrassment at the table with our friends I was reminded that this parenting stuff isn’t easy! Thankfully Mandi and Howie were gracious and we felt totally comfortable disciplining our child in their home. We saved his dinner in case he chose to eat some so he could have dessert. However he did not make that choice and he missed out on yummy brownie and ice cream.
My point to this long story is parenting should not be an easy task, but it is the most rewarding task that we will ever be faced with.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
chapter 4
Taking off the sinful nature and putting on righteousness! I love this chapter! She definitely says it best, "When we correct our children for wrong behavior but fail to train them in righteous behaviour, we will exasperate them because we are not providing them with a way of escape." We have been using this role playing with Jackson after explaining to him why his behavior was not acceptable. He almost always responds properly after we rehearse the situation. It's like he is enlightened with with the response he wants to give in his heart...he just has to fight back that sinful nature and put on righteousness. How awesome to give a three year old the tools he will need to make proper choices throughout his life.
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